Marvel at The Magic Kingdom

On Monday, August 31, 2009, the worlds of the Marvel Universe and the Magic Kingdom collided as The Walt Disney Company announced plans to buy Marvel Entertainment for slightly over $4 billion. Almost immediately, the Disneyana types were excited and the Marvel Zombies were mortified.

Will Mickey Mouse become the newest member of the X-Men? Will Wolverine become a star on Disney on Ice? Will Hannah Montana dress up like Dazzler on an episode of her series? Will they pit Marvel’s Hercules versus Disney’s Hercules? Will Pinocchio be accused of being a mutant? Will The Incredibles fight against and later with the Fantastic Four? Actually, I’d like that one to come true to tell you the truth.

Most critics of the acquisition fail to realize that the same studio that gave us Hannah Montana, Winnie the Pooh, Cars, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, and G-Force also gave us Gargoyles, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Lost, Scream, Kill Bill, Trainspotting, and Clerks. Needless to say, the initial reaction has cooled down compared to what happened upon the announcement. Now, a little clarity is in order. read more

Want super powers? Wish granted

What super hero powers would you want?

What’s the best power to have?  How would you get said power?  Through a genetic mutation in your DNA?  Through a chance encounter with some infected creature or substance?  The how isn’t so much as important as the what.  What is your personal pick for super power?

You will find that this article, like the two before, have nothing to do with Mothers Day.  So we clearly HAVE NOT prepped a week’s worth of awesome stuff for your mom.  Unless she’s into picking superhero powers.  Which I doubt.

Before we proceed, I believe we can all agree that Jubilee’s power of shooting lame ass fucking fireworks out of her hands is the most worthless power ever.

A lot of people say they wish they could fly.  That’s pretty passive and dull to me.  Just flying?  BORED NOW.  Flying should be a secondary to another, more awesome power, like super strength or weather control.

Invisibility is also lame.  So you can go places without being observed.  After the pervy thrill wore off what fun could you really have with invisibility?  Not much.  read more

Will Wonder Woman ever be ready for a close-up?

Wonder Woman made a big return last month in her own movie. Did anyone notice? Fans of the comic book heroine are devout, yet, the character’s mass appeal never seems to be actualized. Superman, Batman, Ironman, and even the Watchmen, have all made a splash on the big screen, but Wonder Woman never seems to be pushed to the A-list. Will the Amazonian princess be forever relegated to play sidekick to her male counterparts?

For the past 40 years, the Wonder Woman has had almost as many make-overs as Barbie. A change in appearance, abilities, and back story have created a character that seems as malleable as a folk tale. Its not without effort that the character hasn’t been given a big break. Baby boomers may recall Wonder Woman as played by Lynda Carter, with spinning transformation sequences and bullet-blocking abilities. Gen X’ers remember her as one of the few female characters featured in the Superfriends. Millennials know Wonder Woman from her role as naive and honorable Diana from Justice League. With each new introduction, the character took on changes to reflect the era, serving as a symbol of female empowerment. read more