Yep, the “religious right” has had enough of our pagan candy bunnies and has introduced chocolates which convey the true meaning of the season. Visit Chocolate Fantasies (some part of  the site are NSFW) to get your own chocolate Jesus, Mary and other favorites such as Celtic crosses, crucifixes and baptismal scenes—all just in time for Easter. And it’s not that I’m totally against having ones faith immortalized in candy. I’m all for it. It just seems wrong to eat a religious icon.  And it also seems wrong to steal the innocence of bunnies and baby chicks away from our young-lings.

Not so innocent, the “right” would argue.  Most of our pagan Easter rituals were given rise by Roman and Greek fertility ceremonies. I’m sure everyone knows children dressed in white dancing around a May Pole are just the “G” rated version of ancient virgins dancing around a large phallic symbol hoping to get knocked up that Spring.

But tradition and religion aside, Easter is a time of rebirth. Spring brings the symbolism of trees budding and grass filling in the big yellow spots in my backyard. And it better fill in quick or I won’t have anywhere to hide my symbolically pagan eggs decorated with crosses so I don’t burn in Hell. Religious plastic eggs are available at Century Novelty. If you’re looking for a more secular chocolate bunny, check out the Lindt Milk Chocolate Bunny with chocolate carrots and golden egg. Even chocolate critters need to accessorize.

As a side note, Chocolate Fantasies is also your best bet for ordering adult themed porno candies. Need some After Dinner Sinner Mints or Fruity Boobs?  They’ve got you covered.  I wonder if Jesus is offended that He’s sidled up next to chocolate penises. I’m guessing yes.

Photo: scott_debney

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As much as I’d like to believe dark chocolate is the lesser evil of the candy world, it seems odd that the value of antioxidants can allow people to overlook the amount of sugar, fat, and calories contained in most dark chocolate.

After a little searching I discovered this article from 2007 by BBC News that confirmed my suspicion. The article cites that many manufacturers are making “fake” dark chocolate. A real dark chocolate contains a good amount of flavanols (antioxidants) from the cocoa plant. If kept in the chocolate making process, the end product is typically more bitter than other processed chocolates. The more bitter the chocolate, the less it sells. In order to still push dark chocolate, many manufacturers end up removing many antioxidants and add artificial coloring or carmelize the cocoa beans for a darker color. Once the flavanols are removed,  sugar or fat are added to the mix to help the taste. The new ingredients make the health benefits of eating dark chocolate almost non-existent. Eating some dark chocolates be just as unhealthy as chowing down on milk chocolate.

Take a look at these criteria from internet doctor and pitch-man, Dr. Dave.

The key features of healthy chocolate are the following:

1) High cacao content with special cold processing to maintain the huge natural antioxidant content.

2) Low added sugar content and reliance on natural sweeteners like Agave, brown rice syrup and natural sugar cane so that people with diabetes or other sugar problems can eat them without problems.

3) In cookies and bars the same kinds of chocolates can be combined with high natural fiber content to enhance the cleansing and detoxifying properties of chocolate and the various berries like Acai as well.

4) A decent portion size for the amount of calories. One piece of dense rich chocolate may be enough to satisfy the sweet tooth if it’s a decent size. This can actually enhance the weight loss properties of chocolate.

5) A higher than normal antioxidant content. Research is on going but suggests that chocolate is a great way to deliver the added antioxidant benefits of berries and perhaps other healthy additives like probiotics. In some cases it appears to be the superior way to get these into your body.

Short of only buying dark chocolate from specialty food shops, it is good to check the amount of sugar, calories, and fat on the nutrition label of all dark chocolate you consume. Also remember that terms such as “natural,” “organic,” or containing cocoa nibs are indicative of a dark chocolate’s antioxidant levels.

If you’re looking for a few of the true dark chocolate brands, check out Hersey’s Extra Dark and Dagoba Dark Blends.

Photo: f10n4

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