Peanuts, Crackerjacks and Heart Attacks

A friend forwarded me this little tidbit which wafted across the Associated Press Mobile News Network—damn those people and their iPhones always getting the important news before I do!

There is a ballpark in Michigan which offers a 4-pound, $20 burger. This burger has five beef patties, five slices of cheese, about a cup of chili with salsa and corn chips served on a sesame-seed bun. Apparently, the minor league West Michigan Whitecap baseball franchise wants all their fans to have heart attacks. In their defense, the person who eats the whole burger will be awarded a t-shirt attesting to such BEFORE keeling over in a pool of their own cholesterol.

I’ve noticed this trend catching on at other ballparks around the nation.  First there was the Sauget, Illinois Gateway Grizzlies who brought us Baseball’s Best Burger.  A juicy burger, sharp cheddar, and bacon served between two halves of Krispy Kreme’s Original Glazed donut.  And now the chefs at the GCS Stadium are vying for the title of Baseball’s Best Hot Dog with 1/5 pound of Black Angus dog topped with a couple of strips of bacon, sautéed onions, sauerkraut and cheese sauce. read more

Dear Lolcats, I think you’ve had enough cheezeburgers

It has come to my attention that I use too many cat photos for my articles.  Its not that I like using cat photos, but usually I’m left with little choice.

Cats are cute and all, I like them well enough.  I would have one as a pet if i were less lazy, if i weren’t mildly allergic and if I wouldn’t have to put down a huge deposit for my apartment.

I HATE the Lolcats trend though.  I don’t mind photo’s with captions.  I don’t even mind cat photos with captions.  What I hate is the intentional misspelling and misuse of the English language. What I hate even more is how much other people seem to be obsessed with the “can has cheeseburger” situation.

“I can has cheeseburger” fanatics are worse than new parents with their child’s photos.   We all have friends like this.  Every damn link they send you is of a F–king lolcat!  The popularity of this site has every asshole with a digital camera taking snapshots of their cats and plastering them up with lame misspelled captions attached.

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