Green Porno: Pure Animal Sex

Lets do it like they do on the…Sundance Channel?

Yes!  That’s right!  The Sundance Channel, known for dry, independent programing full of self important documentaries and dull low budget movies gets raunchy, hilarious and informative with Green Porno.

Now in its second season, Green Porno stars Isabella Rossellini, who is also a writer, director, and producer of the series of short films about mating habits of the animal kingdom.  In each episode she assumes the identity of an animal and acts out its mating ritual.

If I were a Snail…

If I were a Starfish…

If I were an Earthworm…

Isabella tells us some background of her animal, and in absurd animal costumes proceeds to hump cardboard and foam cut outs, telling the viewer just how the mating ritual occurs. read more

Laughter? I like, totally love it!

Do you ever find yourself at a total loss of what to get someone as a gift?  Sometimes you don’t know a person very well, or sometimes you know them too well and can’t figure out something they need.

In the craptastic economy we’re in, its easy to forget that gifts aren’t always supposed to be something the person “needs,” but instead something that they selfishly want.   If figuring out what they want is too hard, giving them something amusing is sometimes better.

Let’s all just admit for a moment that life can be lame.  Life can be boring and hard and bleak at times.  Isn’t laughter the best thing you can give someone?  Wouldn’t it be great to find a product that can be somewhat useful and amusing at the same time? read more

Are we safe from April Fools Day now?

Did you manage to dodge the onslaught of Rick Rolls yesterday?  We can all relax now, its April 2nd.  The day of shenanigans is behind us and we can all get back to business as usual.    Today, you can actually trust news stories and information you happen across.  Well, maybe trust is a strong word, but at least things will be back to normal.

In the past April Fools Day meant Vasiline on doorknobs, calling work to tell them you quit, and random misleading news reports.  However the Internet seems to be getting in on the action now more and more every year.

If you happened to miss the craziness or you were hiding out until this all passed over, here’s the rundown on the big pranks everyone will be talking about.  read more

The Terrible Secret of Space

Do not trust the Pusher Robot!  Its a blast from the past I thought everyone had seen.  Apparently I was wrong.  I recently sent this in a link to a few people and none of them had heard of it.  If you’ve been lurking the internet for a while now, you may have already come to love or hate this particular video.  If you have only just started following these things you may have missed out.

Long before the rickroll, and years before YouTube saved us from boredom Something Awful gave us entertainment.  It is similar to “All Your Base Are Belong To Us”, however” “The Terrible Secret of Space” seems to lack the staying power.  So, on this lazy Sunday, enjoy a fun techno, crazy video, and please go stand by the stairs.

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A Universe of Lists

I have to admit, I love Top Ten Lists and trivia. I don’t know what it is that makes me love them, I just do.  If crappy shows on VH1 are any indication I’m not alone. Maybe it’s the anticipation of waiting to see what number one will be, or maybe its just an interesting look inside the opinions and psyche of the list writer. Before we delve into what it is that makes people gravitate towards lists or the number ten, lets move on. Delving is boring and best left to the professionals.

Listverse is a site that can devour hours upon hours of time. There are lists on a wide variety of topics and everyday a new one is posted.  If the list posted today isn’t something you’re interested in, pop back in 24 hours and a new one will be waiting. Although, you could try reading lists beyond your interests, you might learn something new!  Some of my favorite lists have been total surprises, based on topics I didn’t think I’d be interested in. read more

Dear Lolcats, I think you’ve had enough cheezeburgers

It has come to my attention that I use too many cat photos for my articles.  Its not that I like using cat photos, but usually I’m left with little choice.

Cats are cute and all, I like them well enough.  I would have one as a pet if i were less lazy, if i weren’t mildly allergic and if I wouldn’t have to put down a huge deposit for my apartment.

I HATE the Lolcats trend though.  I don’t mind photo’s with captions.  I don’t even mind cat photos with captions.  What I hate is the intentional misspelling and misuse of the English language. What I hate even more is how much other people seem to be obsessed with the “can has cheeseburger” situation.

“I can has cheeseburger” fanatics are worse than new parents with their child’s photos.   We all have friends like this.  Every damn link they send you is of a F–king lolcat!  The popularity of this site has every asshole with a digital camera taking snapshots of their cats and plastering them up with lame misspelled captions attached.

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Last Call: Order Jagerbombs and Check Out My New Haircut

Happy St. Patrick’s Day AbD readers. Its time for last call.   Hope that everyone had a fun and safe night.

Again, don’t watch that video if you’re offended by words.  Soon I’m going to stop typing that disclaimer because it’s stupid.  It is time to go sleep off the oncoming hangover and hope I’ve recovered in time to act normal at work tomorrow.  I wish everyone a pleasant morning.

Taking the Paper Out of Newspaper

With classified ads and traditional sponsors drying up, many mainstream newspapers have found their online counterparts to actually make more money than their print editions. It has left many to suspect that the newspaper as we know it is on a slow stumble towards death.

The argument has often been countered by the fact that a media never dies, it just adapts and remains functional for a niche audience. While this may be true, there is something to be said about the ease of use and functionality of a good old American newspaper. Its cheap, disposable, and can be read anywhere.

Today marks the first coffin nail in the death of newspapers. The Seattle Post-Intelligencer said that Tuesday would be their last print edition of the print paper. That’s right, a major city’s big newspaper is going online only! The New York Times article on the story mentions that it will resemble a blog-style paper, ala Huffington Post, and will remain locally focused.

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Rant: Stop being a tool on Twitter

Twitter has been making its rounds in the public psyche for some time now. People are slowly learning that there is an art to posting on the site. Sometimes, there is a fine line between someone awesome on Twitter and someone lame.

Part of capturing that balance involves users being somewhat aware of their followers. Think before you hit update!  Nothing bothers me more than when someone abuses Twitter by over-posting. If you have that much to say, please consider getting a regular blog and just linking to it via Twitter (like this).  It will never be okay to post 27 tweets in a row, and that includes @replies and links.

Although the majority of Twitter users use the service on their computer, keep in mind, many also use it on their phone. This means a follower’s phone is beeping or playing some lame jingle every time you decide to tell people what you just ate for breakfast. With the various mobile apps for Blackberry and iPhone, almost everyone can be checking in on Twitter in their down time. When people monologue, it pushes other tweets off screen and I miss them.  This pisses me off. If you have any self-control, use it.

Of course it’s always a choice as to who someone follows, but there isn’t a quicker way to lose a friend than to abuse the system. Additionally, some people we MUST follow, or risk causing “real world” drama (i.e. family, lovers, co-workers). These people love you and will be the least likely to call you out for something so minor, but it bothers them too!

The worst users are the people that actually answer the question Twitter poses at login: “What are you doing?”  Seriously? Don’t feed the beast. You all know the type. Here’s an example of what I’m talking about… read more

Retro G.I. Joe for your amusement

Video has “colorful” language.  You’ve been warned.

If words like F–k and $h*t offend you, then certainly don’t watch that video.  Otherwise, enjoy 42 seconds of awesome.  G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra comes out on August 7 and so far its looking good. read more