Prank Calling 2.0: Abusing Technology for Laughs

I admit it, I’m a fan of prank calls. Its the fun of being bad without the risk of getting caught. My inner child screams at the chance to shove in a one-liner before the inevitable click from the other end. As a child I scoured the phone book for people with strange names, as a teenager I used online databases to find surnames that would work perfectly into a punch-line.

Now that I’m a grown-up, the calling has stopped, but I’m able to live vicariously through the millions of angst-ridden kids that record and post their adventures on the web. The web is rife with audio and videos of some of the best pranks out here. I’ve outgrown the puns of Bart Simpson and relish in the elaborate and contrite plots people make up to keep others on the phone. Read on for my favorite prank sites… read more

World’s most Awesome vertical leap

I know I said I wasn’t going to post cats anymore but seriously this cat has some skills.  read more

Getting deep: Selling out or selling your soul?

When you create something that other people will read, listen to, taste or touch, it’s always wise to think about your audience, that is if you want to be successful. Feedback and criticism are vital to growing and learning, but when does it become too much? Pandering to your audience can become tiresome and takes away originality. Being well liked as an artist, musician, writer, chef, or other career can be reward, but if the work isn’t your own, it can chip away at your soul.

Many people start out loving something and it quickly turns into a twisted, bizarre version that you’ve have to bend and disfigure as a way to make money. The American dream if all about having the freedom to find something you love. Integrity is often the first character trait shelved once making ends up meet becomes a struggle.

This is why rock stars drink and party and do drugs. There is a nagging voice somewhere in their head that has no idea what is going on anymore. The voice will wonder “Where is the music that used to be played in my best friend’s garage?” “Why do all my songs sound like Fall Out Boy, or Britney Spears?”

Is there a way to be truly successful without selling out?

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Foodies For Thought

Who coined the phrase “Foodie?” I’d really like to know because I have a roll of quarters I’d like to shove in their [insert favorite orifice here]. According to my fiancé, Wikpedia:

“Foodie is an informal term for a particular class of aficionado of food and drink. The word was coined in 1981 by Paul Levy and Ann Barr, who used it in the title of their 1984 book The Official Foodie Handbook.”

AH HAH! Paul Levy and Ann Barr, we need to talk. Thank you Wikkie, xoxo.

I am officially tired of the word. I am not a Foodie. I love food. That makes me a healthy person. Honestly, I obsess over food, planning weekly the new places I’m going to eat, searching for the secret little diners no one has been to, looking up menus online to get my mouth watering for something before I step out the door, pouring over cookbooks which I will never cook from, asking waiters what their favorite dish is, etc. That makes me a mentally insecure person who replaces adult interaction and love with food…NOT A FOODIE! read more

A Pseudo Geek Guide to Mediocrity

Life can be boring, really boring.  Day in, day out of work, laundry, a few hours of T.V. and then sleep.  The mechanics of life are endlessly dull.  No one loves doing dishes or paying bills or vacuuming the floor, but this is the stuff that keeps life functional, and it sucks.

What is one of the the first things people say they’ll do when they get a lot of money?  They get a maid, so they don’t have to deal with all the boring crap anymore.  But sadly, most of us will never have enough money.

Sometimes all of these mundane tasks and responsibilities clog you up like the lint trap on your dryer.  It makes you hopeless, makes you question what you’re doing all this for.   Sometimes your lint trap is so full that all of your hope and happiness is getting filtered out.  But like Miles in Risky Business says, “Sometimes you gotta say ‘What the Fuck’, make your move.”

Nothing fun and exciting is going to happen to you while you’re sitting on the couch.  There isn’t a secret patrol of super fun people going door to door.  You’ve got to get out of your comfort zone, go and do something new that you’ve never done before.  Great moments in your life are always a little scary.  This is life right now, this moment.  “This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time.” read more

5 Tips for a Virtual Vacation

Spring is here, which means its time to start planning your vacation. The economy is in the tanker and many people are opting to stay close to home or vacation locally. When I feel the need to escape, I have a few tricks that let me see the world without leaving my living room. Best of all, they’re all free! Here’s my list for five ways to go on a virtual vacation:

5. CIA’s World Factbook
The government spends millions learning about other countries. The tax dollars are already spent, so benefit from it. The CIA’s World Factbook is a bit encyclopedia-like, but offers enough data to help you see the world by numbers. For example, I just discovered that Thailand has a slightly larger population than France. Why bother with Wikipedia when you have the cool factor of reading stuff from the CIA?

4. Photo Tours
There is no substitute for seeing the locales you desire to visit. This might seem like a weak comparison to actually being there, but the photography from Life, National Geographic, and Flickr can be amazing. read more

Jesus was Not a Zombie: Happy Easter

Yesterday, Jesus died, and tomorrow, in case you heathen types didn’t know, He raises Himself from the dead.   Not as a zombie mind you, He’s just good like that.   I guess being the Lord and Master of all creation should come with some perks, especially considering the occupational hazard of being crucified.

Happy Easter everyone.  Please enjoy some Bunny/Easter video’s.  We promise tomorrow we’ll get back to work and quit slacking off!  But it is a Holiday weekend, don’t try to pretend you haven’t been slacking too.  Remember, don’t eat too much chocolate.

Remember that after hiding all those eggs the Easter Bunny will be very tired! read more

Chocolate is My Religion

I love Easter. Let me rephrase that…I love Easter candy. I especially love big giant chocolate rabbits. I have very fond memories as a child of biting the ears off and then using my best cartoon rabbit voice to scream, “MY EARS! MY EARS! THEY’RE GONE. OH, THE HUMANITY!” I have to admit, I’m a little timid about trying this shtick with the chocolate Jesus.

Yep, the “religious right” has had enough of our pagan candy bunnies and has introduced chocolates which convey the true meaning of the season. Visit Chocolate Fantasies (some part of  the site are NSFW) to get your own chocolate Jesus, Mary and other favorites such as Celtic crosses, crucifixes and baptismal scenes—all just in time for Easter. And it’s not that I’m totally against having ones faith immortalized in candy. I’m all for it. It just seems wrong to eat a religious icon.  And it also seems wrong to steal the innocence of bunnies and baby chicks away from our young-lings. read more

Cell Phone, I Hardly Knew Ye

If you’ve been thinking about getting the rumored iPhone coming out this summer, or getting a slick new Blackberry, then you need to stop and consider what will happen to your current phone.  In the US, wireless carriers often subsidize the cost of a phone when a customer signs a new contract. Having signed a few contracts in the past decade, I’m guilty of getting a new phone for the most trendy gimmicks offered by carriers. Who hasn’t been sold on a cool color alone?

The US currently has about 153 million cellar phone subscribers. Only 10% of all broken or inactive cell phones are recycled each year. Do the math. The rest end up in landfills or incinerators.

The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) is actually launching the National Cell Phone Recycling Week on April 6-12, 2009. The EPA’s pitch is simple. By recycling phones the raw materials can be re-used and save on the electric costs of manufacturing new materials, such as copper, plastic, and glass. By recycling, I’m helping save enough power to keep 2,035 households powered-up for the entire year. read more

Are we safe from April Fools Day now?

Did you manage to dodge the onslaught of Rick Rolls yesterday?  We can all relax now, its April 2nd.  The day of shenanigans is behind us and we can all get back to business as usual.    Today, you can actually trust news stories and information you happen across.  Well, maybe trust is a strong word, but at least things will be back to normal.

In the past April Fools Day meant Vasiline on doorknobs, calling work to tell them you quit, and random misleading news reports.  However the Internet seems to be getting in on the action now more and more every year.

If you happened to miss the craziness or you were hiding out until this all passed over, here’s the rundown on the big pranks everyone will be talking about.  read more