Peanuts, Crackerjacks and Heart Attacks

A friend forwarded me this little tidbit which wafted across the Associated Press Mobile News Network—damn those people and their iPhones always getting the important news before I do!

There is a ballpark in Michigan which offers a 4-pound, $20 burger. This burger has five beef patties, five slices of cheese, about a cup of chili with salsa and corn chips served on a sesame-seed bun. Apparently, the minor league West Michigan Whitecap baseball franchise wants all their fans to have heart attacks. In their defense, the person who eats the whole burger will be awarded a t-shirt attesting to such BEFORE keeling over in a pool of their own cholesterol.

I’ve noticed this trend catching on at other ballparks around the nation.  First there was the Sauget, Illinois Gateway Grizzlies who brought us Baseball’s Best Burger.  A juicy burger, sharp cheddar, and bacon served between two halves of Krispy Kreme’s Original Glazed donut.  And now the chefs at the GCS Stadium are vying for the title of Baseball’s Best Hot Dog with 1/5 pound of Black Angus dog topped with a couple of strips of bacon, sautéed onions, sauerkraut and cheese sauce.

Now ballparks seem to be keeping up with state fairs in their quest to provide the most gluttonous meals known to man.  And state fairs know how to do it right…that’s where I first tried chicken fried bacon.

But somewhere there has to be an end to the madness, this boasting that you can eat a 10 pound steak with all the fixins’ should not be the norm of the American diet.  Sadly, I see menus heading down that road.  Have you looked at your local fast food menu lately?  Just yesterday I noticed two items at my local Wendy’s—the Baconater.  We’re talking six strips of bacon, two half-pound beef patties, two slices of American cheese, mayo and ketchup—no vegetables to get in your way on this one.  And what’s the damage?  Eight-hundred-thirty calories!

And what about Hardee’s Monster Thickburger, which “Eat This Not That” rated as the worst cheeseburger at a fast food chain.  Weighing in at 1,420 calories with 108 grams of fat, 2,770 mg. of sodium and 230 mg. of cholesterol you might need a defibrillator just to read the ingredients.

I myself indulge occasionally at a local Dallas restaurant known for its Stodge Burger topped with a fried egg, Applewood bacon and slathered in foie butter. I also get a side of their mac’n’cheese’ham casserole. The waiter always makes fun of me and I don’t blame him one bit.  It’s a sight to see.

I’m not one to count calories but somewhere you really start to wonder why American’s lead the world in obesity statistics.  I blame baseball.

Photo: ImNotQuiteJack

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