Burger King uses sex to sell my daughter a kid’s meal

“Booty is booty,” said Sir Mix-a-Lot, insinuating that he doesn’t care the shape of his “baby’s back.” However his newest preference seems to be for the square, spongy, yellow variety. At least that’s what the “Burger King” would have us believe with the new Burger King kid’s meal commercials featuring the old-school rapper doing a modified rendition of his hit “Baby Got Back.”

It’s like MTV run amuck with girls waving around their enormous square butts to the beat of “I like square butts.” It looks like the same thing you’d see on any rap video sans handguns and 40’s. I’m going to go with–entirely inappropriate and a little freaky. Watch the offending ad below… read more

Getting deep: Selling out or selling your soul?

When you create something that other people will read, listen to, taste or touch, it’s always wise to think about your audience, that is if you want to be successful. Feedback and criticism are vital to growing and learning, but when does it become too much? Pandering to your audience can become tiresome and takes away originality. Being well liked as an artist, musician, writer, chef, or other career can be reward, but if the work isn’t your own, it can chip away at your soul.

Many people start out loving something and it quickly turns into a twisted, bizarre version that you’ve have to bend and disfigure as a way to make money. The American dream if all about having the freedom to find something you love. Integrity is often the first character trait shelved once making ends up meet becomes a struggle.

This is why rock stars drink and party and do drugs. There is a nagging voice somewhere in their head that has no idea what is going on anymore. The voice will wonder “Where is the music that used to be played in my best friend’s garage?” “Why do all my songs sound like Fall Out Boy, or Britney Spears?”

Is there a way to be truly successful without selling out?

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Training for Parenthood

A great video from Summer of Tears, a southern California-based comedy troupe. Do pets really prepare couples for parenthood? Let’s find out.

Free Audio Books: Read With Your Ears

I often meander to the library with high ambitions. I check out two books, with an expectation that I’ll read them both before they’re due. Within two weeks I’m back at the library, extending my book loan and wishing I had the time to be as well read as I aspire to be. If there was only a way to read while I’m driving, taking a shower, and mowing the lawn…

To my delight, there is a way. Audio books! Anyone that has used iTunes or Audible.com knows that the selection of audio books (formerly known as books on tape/CD) is expansive. Just type in an author’s name or book title, and load up your iPod, Zune, or other media device and go! Many of the newest titles are read by authors or celebrities which makes for a wonderful experience. As times are tough, I’m making less purchases and audio books were the first expense to go. Is it back to the library again? Almost, until I discovered Librivox, a free open-source depository for public domain audio books. read more

Ashton & Oprah Team Up to Kill Twitter

As if you didn’t have reason enough to hate him, Ashton Kutcher has ruined everyone’s favorite micro-blog site, Twitter. In an effort to make a charitable donation seem more exciting and to generate some self-publicity, actor Ashton Kutcher waged a bet against cable news channel CNN. The first to have 1 million followers by the end of the competition would win. Kutcher agreed to donate funds for 10,000 mosquito nets to charity for World Malaria Day if he won, and 1,000 if he lost.

In true Hollywood douche fashion, Kutcher tried to spin the competition after he had won it. He claimed the victory to be a sign of individual/web user empowerment over corporations. As Ad Age so eloquently points out, Kutcher doesn’t address the fact that CNN aired his web clips as part of their broadcast or that his entire career was created and fostered by the big media conglomerates he claims to have overcome. It’s easy to bite the hand that feeds when someone is already full. read more

Canned: A Quick Guide for This Year’s Canceled Television

Remember when Fox canceled “Arrested Development” and fans collectively exploded, flooding the internet with petitions to keep the Bluth family on the air in the process? Well, nothing like that is going to happen this year. I’ve always enjoyed when networks take out shows that aren’t pulling their weight. It’s the television equivalent of a dangerous crash diet. Several shows are getting the cut this year, most of which hardly merit mentioning (“Life on Mars,” “Trust Me”) but there are a couple shows facing their doom this year that stand out:

Guiding Light
Some people complain that “The Simpsons” has been on television for too long, but the 15,638 episodes of CBS’s “Guiding Light” makes the “The Simpsons” 437 episode run feel paltry. Earlier this month, CBS announced their intentions of canceling the longest running television drama in history, citing the show’s other accolade of being the lowest rated soap opera on any network for the last twelve years as their reason for dropping the ax. Those eager to find out if Mallet and Marina will be able to adopt their Bosnian baby after being put on a no-adoption list because of their former mob ties shouldn’t fret too much, the show will live on streamed on YouTube. Which is just sort of pathetic, really.

Mind of Mencia
A show so bad that it took Comedy Central four seasons to remember to cancel it. Despite drawing in high ratings for the network, Mencia’s show seemed universally reviled. The comedian drew a number of accusations of joke plagiarism during the show’s run, and even Maxim magazine, of all publications, ranked him as one of the worst comedians ever to pick up a microphone. The world is a better place. read more

Will Wonder Woman ever be ready for a close-up?

Wonder Woman made a big return last month in her own movie. Did anyone notice? Fans of the comic book heroine are devout, yet, the character’s mass appeal never seems to be actualized. Superman, Batman, Ironman, and even the Watchmen, have all made a splash on the big screen, but Wonder Woman never seems to be pushed to the A-list. Will the Amazonian princess be forever relegated to play sidekick to her male counterparts?

For the past 40 years, the Wonder Woman has had almost as many make-overs as Barbie. A change in appearance, abilities, and back story have created a character that seems as malleable as a folk tale. Its not without effort that the character hasn’t been given a big break. Baby boomers may recall Wonder Woman as played by Lynda Carter, with spinning transformation sequences and bullet-blocking abilities. Gen X’ers remember her as one of the few female characters featured in the Superfriends. Millennials know Wonder Woman from her role as naive and honorable Diana from Justice League. With each new introduction, the character took on changes to reflect the era, serving as a symbol of female empowerment. read more

Green Porno: Pure Animal Sex

Lets do it like they do on the…Sundance Channel?

Yes!  That’s right!  The Sundance Channel, known for dry, independent programing full of self important documentaries and dull low budget movies gets raunchy, hilarious and informative with Green Porno.

Now in its second season, Green Porno stars Isabella Rossellini, who is also a writer, director, and producer of the series of short films about mating habits of the animal kingdom.  In each episode she assumes the identity of an animal and acts out its mating ritual.

If I were a Snail…

If I were a Starfish…

If I were an Earthworm…

Isabella tells us some background of her animal, and in absurd animal costumes proceeds to hump cardboard and foam cut outs, telling the viewer just how the mating ritual occurs. read more

Britain’s Underdog Idols

This past week, the web has been a buzz about Susan Boyle, the homely spinster from Britain’s Got Talent. The clip floating around YouTube features Ms. Boyle auditioning for the show, and being scoffed at for her looks. When she belts out an impressive rendition of “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Miserable, the judges and audience are flabbergasted at her voice and regret their initial judgment. A standing ovation and tears follow. Are people interested in her simply for her talent, or the fact that her looks distract from it? read more

Reinventing the Looney Tunes

Remember the Looney Tunes? If you’re old enough to remember when MTV aired music videos longer than six hours a day, sodas called Surge and Citra, and ABC actually programming a Saturday morning lineup rather than plucking repeats from their parent company’s established cable networks, then you might remember their original incarnations. You know, the crazy, borderline insane comedic characters from Warner Bros. before they got transformed into babies, sentai warriors, and, as Bugs Bunny himself said in the rarely seen ’90s short Invasion of the Bunny Snatchers, “pale stereotypes” of their former selves. becoming essentially Disney-fied pitchmen selling everything from frozen food and candies to theme parks and phone services. Though to be fair, in the past, they sold everything from useless pieces of plastic, cereals, vitamins, candies,  and fried chicken (I’m still trying to wrap my mind over the fact that Foghorn Leghorn was once a pitchman for Kentucky Fried Chicken), but they were still essentially Looney Tunes characters, and they were still on television. read more